What is the appropriate question to ask someone who has experienced trauma?

What is the appropriate question to ask someone who has experienced trauma?

• A. Did this happen recently?
• B. What happened to you?
• C. How are you feeling now?
• D. Who can help you now?

Answer: (B)

In trauma-informed conversations, the first goal is to invite the person to share their experience in their own words, without pressuring them or making assumptions. A question like “What happened to you?” does that by being open-ended and non-leading. It validates that something occurred and centers the survivor’s account, giving them control over what details to disclose and at what pace. This approach helps build safety, respect autonomy, and reduce the risk of triggering or retraumatizing. Asking if it happened recently introduces a time frame that can pressure the person to recite details or imply urgency they may not be ready to share. Asking how they’re feeling now shifts the focus to emotions rather than letting them narrate their experience at their own pace. Asking who can help now moves toward solutions and external support before the person has even had a chance to tell their story. The open, non-judgmental question about what happened best honors the person’s experience and sets a foundation for a supportive, collaborative conversation.

In trauma-informed conversations, the first goal is to invite the person to share their experience in their own words, without pressuring them or making assumptions. A question like “What happened to you?” does that by being open-ended and non-leading. It validates that something occurred and centers the survivor’s account, giving them control over what details to disclose and at what pace. This approach helps build safety, respect autonomy, and reduce the risk of triggering or retraumatizing.

Asking if it happened recently introduces a time frame that can pressure the person to recite details or imply urgency they may not be ready to share. Asking how they’re feeling now shifts the focus to emotions rather than letting them narrate their experience at their own pace. Asking who can help now moves toward solutions and external support before the person has even had a chance to tell their story. The open, non-judgmental question about what happened best honors the person’s experience and sets a foundation for a supportive, collaborative conversation.